Honestly feeling a bit iffy with some of the translations in this chapter. The wording feels kind of weird, so I’m all open to suggestions if anyone can think of a better way to put things.
CSWH Chapter 139: Enaline’s Apology
After attending the memorial services at the Anderson Marquis House for those that had been sacrificed during the war, I once again returned to the Capital.
“……welcome back, Mellice-sama.”
“Enaline.”
Even now, my heart honestly hurt upon seeing Enaline, who closely resembled the girl who I had lost.
However……I was not the only one suffering.
Rather, it was probably more painful for her, who had lost someone that had been with her ever since she was born.
That was why I did not turn my eyes away.
Because I was the one who could not protect her.
Because this was something that I had to face myself.
“……somehow, it feels like it has been a while since I last saw you in the Anderson House.”
“That is the same for Mellice-sama as well.”
“……that is also true.”
Enaline followed after me as I returned to my quarters.
“……Mellice-sama. What shall we do regarding the search for your new attendant?”
Around the time that I had taken a seat, Enaline asked me an unexpected question.
“……is that not your current job?”
“No……but, I am sure……that it was something that Anna was concerned about.”
“……I’m sorry.”
A heavy silence fell upon us.
“I do not have any intention of employing a new attendant.”
“……if that’s the case, then……”
“I am basically capable of taking care of my own daily necessities. It is only when preparing for evening parties that I require the help of someone else……the only attendant who I have employed of my own volition is Anna alone.”
For a brief instant, Enaline’s face warped.
Her expression looked so pained……so bitter, yet even then she looked as though she were trying to prevent herself from drowning in all of her emotions.
Just watching her made me feel as though I’d be washed away by her distress.
“……Mellice-sama.”
“What is it?”
“……I cannot forgive it. That, despite your strength, you were unable to protect her.”
……however, I had resolved myself to never avert my gaze.
That is why I looked right at her.
Her words, her justified denunciation…….I accepted all of it head on.
“……why are you not getting angry at me?”
Tears pooled at the corners of her eyes as she asked that.
Failing to understand the meaning of her question, I simply gazed at her.
“That girl……Anna had a wish. She hoped to chase after your back. She wanted to fight together with you. Naturally, she should have had the resolve to put her life on the line…….that’s why my words are nothing more than making light of her resolve as a warrior……”
Hearing Enaline’s words reminded me of that nostalgic journey.
The one we made around the time that Enaline and Anna had just become my attendants.
Through their battle with those bandits……the two of them learned of and lamented their own weakness.
And it was after that when they threw themselves into military training with a bloodcurdling intensity.
That is why……I could understand Enaline’s point of view.
To wield the sword is to prepare yourself for death.
To steal the life of another, and to have your own life stolen……it was not something to be taken lightly.
Despite that, I was excessively worried about her……and for her, that probably felt as though I were making light of her resolve.
“That is certainly…true. To say that I was unable to protect her……would be an insult to her. Because she was standing there as a single warrior. I would not have brought someone that I needed to protect to that place.”
That was something…….that truthfully, I knew.
However, even then.
“But……that just goes to show how important she was to you, right? That’s why, it is fine if you do not forgive me. Not only was I unable to protect her, I was also the one who got her involved in that war and brought her to the battlefield…….and, I was watching. To see whether or not she could continue being the one protected.”
Tears gushed forth from both of Enaline’s eyes.
She had probably been enduring it all this time.
Surely, that is how it has been.
“…….my…apologies……”
She continued to apologize while breaking down crying.
I quietly extended my hand out to her, and hugged her.
And I too, feeling my heart both grieve and felt healed by her warmth……broke into tears.
Kiriko Translations 
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Well, I’m later than usual. I liked the wording of most things, but there were a few things I’d change up, just a bit.
I am basically capable of taking care of my own daily necessities.
(basically felt a bit uneeded, and added a weird flavor, dunno quite how to describe tho)
That is certainly…true. To say that I was unable to protect her……would be an insult to her.
(changed placement of ellipsis, and changed a ‘her’ to ‘Anna’ to avoid redundancy, and added an ‘It,’ capitalized to show that it’s a concrete though, as opposed to the earlier un-sureness in this line.)
That was something…….that truthfully, I knew.
(felt a little to similar to the first sentence of the previous passage ^^^ so changed it up a bit)
But……that just goes to show how important she was to you, right? That’s why, it is fine if you do not forgive me. Not only was I unable to protect her, I was also the one who got her involved in that war and brought her to the battlefield…….and, I was watching. To see whether or not she could continue being the one protected.
(Cut out some extra words, replaced periods with commas between sentences so they run together, as if she’s talking faster and it’s all in one breath, reaching peak at “AND” before slowly coming back down.
Also switched to contractions “it’s” and “don’t” to help give it a bit more of that shorter, rushed feel. Also also swapped ‘could’ with ‘would.’ Could is past tense of can, and would is past tense of will. Could denotes a possibility of change in this case (and feels a bit more rigid), but would denotes an intent to change (if that isn’t too confusing, cause i know it confuses me))
And I too, feeling my heart both grieve and felt healed by her warmth……broke into tears.
(This one is probably fine. Having ‘feeling’ and ‘felt’ in the same sentence seemed wrong, but the more I looked at it, the more I preferred it over mine)
And sorry if this is a bit long, my cousin and I just started a short-story word prompt challenge between the two of us, and I jumped a bit at editing something besides my own writing . . .
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Didn’t know putting a “>” at the front of the line would make it italicized and indented
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