At the Northern Fort V1Ex3

At the Northern Fort V1Ex3: Father

I do not know the face of my father in this world.

My memories right after being born are a bit fuzzy, but about one or two weeks after being born, I recalled the memories of my previous life, thus forming my current personality that made [me]. I could properly remember everything that happened after my personality formed.

However, the one who was always by my side, raising and protecting me was Mother alone. Until I went down the mountain and met the One-Eyed Knight and everyone, my world was mostly composed of Mother and snow.

Oddly enough, up until now I hadn’t paid any heed to matters regarding my father. Because Mother didn’t mention him at all.

That being said, it didn’t seem like it was a taboo topic that would set off any landmines. It truly felt like something that didn’t matter at all, or that such a person didn’t exist at all.

Thus, I had abandoned such human-like thoughts. In other words, I assumed that the common sense of: [A child is made as a result of a certain act performed by a man and woman], did not apply to the creation of child spirits.

Spirits are capable of creating a child by themselves. That is the conclusion that I had come to during my approximately one year’s worth of life as a spirit.

I don’t remember what happened the moment I was born, but I had a fantasy-like image of Mother giving some of her power to snow that had fallen from the sky onto her hand, thus creating the existence known as me.

But, be as it may.

When I recently went to the Capital with Mother, Fire Spirit-san made ‘that remark’.

[Is she your child with ‘Water’? Even though you rejected having children with me!]

He certainly did say that, and Mother also did not deny it.

I wonder if ‘Water’ refers to a water spirit. Is my Father a water spirit?

“Mother, who is my fwa-ther?”

Just before bed, I resolved myself and tried asking Mother in our nest. Mother was currently in her beautiful silver-white fox form. Her fluffiness did not lose out to my own, and her fur was silky smooth.

As I buried my body into that silky chest fur while asking that, Mother made a grim expression.

“I am your only parent. You do not have a father.”

“……but, the Fire Spirit said. That I was your child with ‘Water’.”

“You remembered that?”

After murmuring that in a slightly surprised manner, in the end Mother told me quite plainly.

“If you go far into the southeast from here, you will reach the place where the Water Spirit lives. I did indeed pair with him to birth you.”

After that, Mother continued to answer my questions while talking about spirit children are made and raised. Though I really wondered if this really was a conversation to have with a child just before bed.

To summarize things in my own way, for spirits to have children, they do need to go through the same process that humans do. It seems that they cannot create a child on their own.

So, Mother who had started to think that she wanted children, paired up with Water Spirit-san whose nature match her own snow attribute——in this case, becoming a [pair] wasn’t like becoming husband and wife, but just meant that they spent a single night together——and then after that, she became pregnant with me.

So then, does that mean I’m a half-snow and half-water spirit? -is what I thought, but it seems that isn’t the case.

Unlike with human children where they inherit the genes of both the father and mother, spirits inherit the attribute of one of their parents.I just happened to inherit Mother’s snow attribute, but it was possible that I could have been born with the water attribute.

And if that happened, then I would have been taken into the care of the water spirit, and raised as his successor. I would have been separate from Mother soon after being born.

So, since this time the one who wanted a child was Mother, if I, the first child, had been “water”, then she would birth another child and have that one as her successor. It seems that the second child is guaranteed to have a different attribute than the first when it is born.

Incidentally, it is for this reason that if Mother had paired with a spirit who already had a successor, then she would have a 100% chance of birthing a child who would become her successor. Since a spirit can only have a single child.

Based on what I heard from Mother, it appeared that she and Water Spirit-san didn’t have any love between them. Though naturally, it wasn’t like they hated each other either.

I suppose spirits don’t possess the concept of marriage?

“I wanna meet Fwa-ther.”

I looked up at Mother and said that.

I didn’t have any particular ideas on what I wanted to do when I saw him. It wasn’t like I wanted Water Spirit-san to do any fatherly things, nor did I hope for him to dote on me. I was just curious about what kind of person he was. It was simple curiosity.

Mother was making a somewhat anxious expression, so while speaking a bit clumsily, I properly explained that fact. I don’t plan on leaving Mother’s side~, I explained.

As a result, I received Mother’s vague permission.

“If you are curious, then it is fine to meet him once……in any case, that is a conversation for tomorrow. Today you should sleep.”

When Mother licked my head, it was almost funny how quickly the sleepiness started to attack me. Yawn~, my mouth opened so wide it seemed as though my jaw would dislocate as I made a single yawn. Perhaps because I was in my infancy, sleepiness would rapidly come over me. And once I started to think, “Sleepy” to myself, no other thoughts could enter my brain. After closing my eyes, I’d fall asleep in three seconds. 3, 2, 1……

“Then, I will be going. Be a good child and stay at home.”

The next day, after the sun had risen high in the sky, Mother left the nest in her vixen form. Starting with the Snowlea Mountain that we were on, she was going off to patrol all the mountains around this region. A spirit’s job is hard work.

“It is fine to go visit the knights at the fort, but you must return before the sun sets.”

“Ok~ay.”

After giving a proper reply, I watched Mother’s back as she left.

Even though Mother said it was okay for me to meet Father last night, when I mentioned that today, she was evasive and avoided the topic. As expected, she actually didn’t really want me to meet him. It seems that she was worried that I’d have thoughts about father. Lately it seems like she’s been seeing the One-Eyed Knight as her rival too. Oh, Mother.

Tonight, I’ll have to fawn on Mother and stick close to her to give her some peace of mind. Children also have to take others into consideration.

After a short while, I got sick of staying home alone and decided to head to the fort to play. Thus, I attempted to activate the transfer technique. The trick was to strongly think about the One-Eyed Knight’s appearance.

It seems that Mother can transfer while targeting a specific [location], but I was still only able to transfer while targeting a [person]. Rather, right now I can only go to the One-Eyed Knight’s and Mother’s sides.

However, while I haven’t tried it out, I might be able to transfer to Fire Spirit-san and Kugalg. Maybe it’s because I’m a spirit, but it was easier to perceive the existence of other spirits. If I think about the tiny black panther appearance of Kugalg and go, “The cub form of large carnivores is so cute~!”, then it feels like I might just accidentally transfer over there.

Incidentally, when I asked Mother why she hadn’t used the transfer technique when she thought I had been kidnapped and thus started up the blizzard, it seems that the fire energy from the hot spring inside the fort got in the way, and she was unable to perceive my existence.

When I go to the One-Eyed Knight at the fort, I can properly sense his existence, but that was probably because he was a normal human being. His attribute is not particularly affected by the fire energy.

One-Eyed Knight, One-Eyed Knight……

My transfer technique is not perfect. I have to concentrate on my targeted person, or else it will not succeed.

However, today I was distracted.

One-Eyed Knight, One-Eyed Knight, Father, One-Eyed Knight…… like that, I was so curious about my father that I couldn’t concentrate. Even as I called the One-Eyed Knight to mind, my father, whose appearance I did not know, cut into my thoughts.

Right now I mustn’t think about my father.

However, the more I told myself, the more it backfired, and the inside of my head was taken over with thoughts of my father.

One-Eyed Knight, Father, Father, One-Eyed Knight……Father, Father, Father, Father……

Before I realised it, I was standing on a beautiful lakeshore. It was obviously different from the scenery of the snowy mountain nest that I had just been in. Snowlea Mountain also had a small lake, but this was also different from that.

The temperature would probably feel a bit cold to humans, but it was a bit warm for me. The area around me wasn’t surrounded by snow, but forest. All of the trees were densely covered with green leaves. You can’t see this much green on the snowy mountain.

The lake in front was extremely large, and had mist floating over it, so you couldn’t see the opposite shore. The clear water glittered a mysterious emerald green colour, and as the water grew deeper, that colour also became darker. Not knowing what was lurking underneath those depths stirred a sense of unease within me. It’s such a large lake. It wouldn’t be strange if there was a Nessie-like monster in it.

Having transferred to an unfamiliar location, I sat there puzzled for a short while. However, when I calmed down and tried feeling around for Mother’s existence, I was able to discover that she was quite a distance away. Thinking about how I could immediately return to Mother’s side using the transfer technique gave me a bit of a peace of mind.

For the time being I tried observing the surroundings calmly. In front of me was a lak, to my right was a forest, to the left was also forest, and behind me was naturally——-

“……!!?”

Forest——or not.

No, there certainly was a huge forest spreading out behind me too, but immediately behind me was a different existence. When I whirled around, my field of vision was filled with “that”.

Just at a glance, I could not tell what its true form was. It was like a roundish wall, with a colouring so beautiful that it stole my eyes away. It was turquoise, with faint white streaks mixed into it, creating a smooth polish. Where the sun hit it, it glittered like jewels, making me want to appreciate the view forever.

I stealthily approached that wall and tried sniffing it. When I was a human, information obtained by sight was most important, but since gaining this form I’ve become more dependent on my sense of smell instead.

Its scent was surprisingly faint, so odourless that I almost wondered whether or not it was just a mass of limpid water.

However, when I approached it, I realised that the wall had scales. Not like the scales of a fish, but like those of a [snake]…….

“S-Snake…….!?!?”

The instant the name of that creature entered my mind, I let out a confused scream and tumbled away in retreat.

Because that wall was so large that I had to look up at it. If its true identity was a coiled up snake, then it was one large enough to eat me up in one bite.

“…………”

It seems that it’s true that you can become speechless with surprise.

My body poofed up like a cat, and I made not a single movement as I maintained my gaze on the gigantic snake.

Let’s run away from here before the snake wakes up.

-is what I thought, but that plan fruitlessly fell apart. The coiled up snake that appeared to be asleep suddenly raised its head slowly, perhaps sensing the fearful aura coming from me.

“……”

The two of us silently locked eyes.

However, in contrast to my eyes that were opened as wide as they could go with fear, the snake’s eyes were drowsily gazing at me absentmindedly.

I thought that it would attack me as soon as it recognised my presence, but no matter how much time passed, it didn’t move, so perhaps it wasn’t hungry. The chance of me surviving increased a little.

Let’s keep an eye on it while retreating step by step. While I’d like nothing more than to turn heel and run away, if a huge snake like this were to slither after me at a high speed behind me, I’m pretty sure I’d end up pissing myself while running away. The idea of exposing my back to it was scary.

However, as I started to step back slowly, the snake took an unforeseen action.

It slowly opened its mouth, and started to speak with a deep voice.

“Snowlea, is it? You’ve gotten……a bit smaller.”

This snake…can talk?

I put some strength into my quivering legs. Once I knew that it could be communicated with, I felt a little relieved, even if the other party was a gigantic snake. It had reason, and wasn’t just a mindless beast. It also seemed to know Mother, so it was undoubtedly a spirit.

And once I thought that far, my heart started to race for an entirely different reason.

I probably came here unintentionally using the transfer technique, so I thought about what I had been thinking about prior to transferring. The true identity of this snake was surely——-

“Fwa-ther?”

My mutter was so soft that it probably wasn’t heard by him.

The large and beautiful snake looked quizzically at me as he spoke, his eyes still appearing as sleepy as before.

“Has your body……shrunk? Strange things……do happen.”

Father’s——I’ll just call him Father as I please, but Father’s manner of speaking was very slow paced. Coupled together with the deepness of his voice, it made the listener feel sleepy.

I timidly called out to him.

“I’m….not Snow-le-ah. That’s Mother.”

“Hm? ……ahh, I see. Then…you’re from that time……the child that Snowlea was pregnant with……was you. So……you’ve already been born.”

Father’s eyelids opened ever so slightly in surprise.

“Um…are you my ‘Fwa-ther’?”

I closed the distance between the beautiful snake and I, and looked up at him while talking. I was so excited that my tail started to shake. It was a bit of a shock that my father was a snake, but I was happy to meet him.

I thought that he’d be more excited at meeting me for the first time, but the perception of a [parent and child] relationship for a pure spirit was apparently different from that of a former human like myself. Thus, he very calmly responded.

“Father, huh…….being called that feels a little……strange. You have not…….inherited the water attribute.”

After hearing that, my tail instantly drooped down.

It seems that I had unconsciously been expecting to be welcomed as energetically as Fire Spirit-san might, with a, “Ohh, you’re my child! I’ve wanted to meet you!”.

Even as I grew a bit sad, I tried to persevere, since I had finally managed to meet Father after all this time.

“But, but……! I was born bee-cause Fwa-ther “pay-red” with Mo-ther, right? I wudn’t have been born if’it was just Mother…….that is whyyy I think that I’m Fwa-ther’s child too.”

“Is that so……? Now that you mention it……that is…true. You are Snowlea’s child……and my child……as well.”

My tail once again began to shake.

Alright! I got him to admit to our parent-child relationship!

I did say that I just wanted to meet my father out of curiosity, but being told something like, “You aren’t my child”, from someone who was my parent did make me sad as might be expected. So, I reflexively ended up pursuing the matter.

But I ended up regretting it, wondering whether or not I was being a bother only after he recognised our relationship. After all, Father seems to only really think of himself as a [sperm donor], so having me suddenly insist, “You are my father!”, is probably troubling to him.

Well, I do think that he is undeniably my father, at least biologically speaking. Spirits and humans just have a different way of thinking about things.

I’d hate to be thought of as troublesome. Feeling uneasy, I fell silent after that, upon which-

“Since you’ve taken the time to come here……then take it easy……”

Unexpectedly, he spoke to me in such a manner. I was so happy that my tail felt like it would fly off from wagging too much.

However, Father was quite good at leading me around by the nose. While he said, “Take it easy”, it looked like he didn’t plan on entertaining me much, as he placed his raised head in the centre of his coil and closed his eyes.

Eh, is he going to sleep?

“Um…Fwa-ther…….?”

When I hesitantly called out to him, he raised his large eyelids and asked, “What is it?” in his bassy voice.

“No, it’s nothing.”

“I see……”

Ah, he closed his eyes again.

Amidst the silence, I stood frozen on the spot for a while in bewilderment. I don’t really get Father’s personality.

However, it was boring to just keep standing around here, so I figured I’d try exploring the surroundings for a bit. Like Father said, I did take the time to come all the way here after all.

First, I approached the beautiful lake spreading out before my eyes. It didn’t have a sandy beach by its edge like the ocean, and instead, short grass grew thickly on its bank, cutting off abruptly where the lake’s edge sat. While the shore was close by, that didn’t mean the bank was shallow. If I were human, the water level would probably reach up to about my knees, but for the little me, there was a chance that my head would end up submerged. I’ll have to be careful not to fall into the water.

I’m sure that lakes can have waves as well, but since there wasn’t any wind right now, the surface of the lake was calm. When I dipped my front paw into the water, ripples soon formed in the water. While it was enthralling to watch, it felt unpleasant to wet my leg fur, so I quickly stopped.

After shaking down my wet forepaws, I then started to search for fish. I brought my face close to the lake’s surface so that I could peer into the water.

“……that’s dangerous.”

Then, a voice suddenly called out to me from behind, causing me to turn around. Father was still coiled up, but he had kept just a single eye open that was looking my way. So he wasn’t sleeping?

“……”

After the two of us silently stared at each other for several seconds, I took a few steps away from the lake. But I couldn’t bring myself to give up on looking for fish, so I glanced back at the lake with a regretful gaze before turning back towards Father and speaking.

“I wanna see da fishes.”

“……no……dangerous……come over here.”

I reluctantly returned to Father’s side and sat down on the ground so that I could cuddle up to his large head. While I knew that he wouldn’t eat me, being so close to such a gigantic mouth made me feel a bit nervous.

When I peeked up at Father, I saw that after confirming with one eye that I was sitting next to him, he once again closed that eye.

After that, whenever I got bored from having nothing to do and started to approach the lake again, or tried to sneak into the forest, he’d have an eye open before I realised it. Then, he’d call me back with, “Stay still”, or, “Come back here”.

And then, once he confirmed that I came back to his side, he’d close his eyes again. Rinse and repeat. It seemed that whenever I exceeded an 8-metre distance from Father, his [recall process] would activate.

He was probably worried about me scampering about, but his supervision was harsher and stingier than Mother’s.

I thought he’d be a more laissez-faire type, but he unexpectedly wasn’t? Rather, wasn’t he a bit overprotective?

Though he didn’t do anything like petting my head, or hugging me, or making remarks that a doting parent might say, like, “You’re shoooo cutee!”……

Helpless, I killed time by observing an ant nest next to Father, or trying to see how close I could get to the little birds resting on Father’s body. ——I digress, but even if Mother were to lie down in her fox form, I don’t think any birds would come to rest on top of her. It felt like Mother was held in both awe and fear by the animals on the snowy mountain. In contrast, it feels as though Father was recognised as being a part of nature.

And then, in the end I tried challenging the invisible 8-metre boundary. Distancing myself from Father in a way that I wouldn’t be scolded, I enjoyed myself by playing at the very limits of the 8-metres.

When I looked back at the 7-metre mark, I could see Father gazing my way.

Something I also learned was it was pointless to try going around behind Father to avoid his line of sight. He’d sluggishly lift up his head and follow me with his eyes.

However, it seemed like I wandered around a bit too much, as he ultimately imprisoned me in the “centre of his coil”. What’s with this method of confinement?

“You should get a bit bigger……before walking around on your own……children……shouldn’t drift too far……from their parents.”

“Okay……”

I can’t really tell if Father’s love is weak or strong.

In the end, I spent about 3 hours by Father’s side. We didn’t really have a proper conversation, and we ended up taking an afternoon nap together after I was placed in his coil, but it was fun in its own way. Though I received quite a fright when I woke up from my short nap and saw Father peeking at my sleeping face from above.

After having him let me out from his coil, I looked up at Father and said-

“Well, I should pwo-ba-bwee wee-turn to Mother’s side now.”

There was still some time before sunset, but I should probably head back earlier so as to not worry Mother. Once she sniffs me, I won’t be able to hide the fact that I met Father. She’ll probably sulk if she finds out that I stayed here for a long time too.

“I see……then, come play again…….tomorrow.”

“Eh, tomor-wow?”

“Yeah, tomorrow……”

It’s already predetermined? Father’s unexpectedly pushy.

No, it does make me happy though. At first I thought he found me annoying after all.

“Then, I’ll come again tomor-wow.”

I’ll go to the One-Eyed Knight’s place around noon, so I can come here before or after that. I have to make some time so that Mother can have some exclusive mother-child time too, so my schedule was quite full, despite only being a one-year old.

“Yeah……tomorrow……you must come. You must…….”

“G-Got it.”

Like that, the curtains fell on our first father-daughter meeting, and after that one thing led to another——-rather, Father kept saying, “Come again tomorrow……”——so I ended up going to see Father every day.

Incidentally.

When Father changes into his human form, he turns into a beautiful man with long aqua-coloured hair. His attire was a single high quality cloth that wrapped around him like something a god from Greek mythology might wear.*